What is it like being a female funeral director?

As the first female funeral director at Tom Owen and Son in 90 years, Kelly absolutely loves her job and challenging the stereotypes of a historically male dominated industry

According to the history books, it was the role of women to prepare a body for burial in the days of Socrates. Fast forward to Victorian England and it was deemed 'improper' for women to be involved in touching a deceased body. For many years the industry has been mainly made up of men, however in recent years there has been a resurgence of women coming into the industry.

Tom Owen and Son funeral director, based in Llandudno, are on a journey to try to break down the stereotypes of a traditionally male-dominated profession. This blog will hopefully help to remove some of those barriers.

How did you end up working in the funeral industry?

My fiancée and I, Tristan, were asked to join the family business back in April 2020 as the fourth generation of the Owen family at the helm at Tom Owen and Son based in Llandudno. Initially, I was only going to be dealing with the finances and social media, however by September 2020, I'd had a change of plan! I threw myself into the deep end and undertook a 3 month intense mentoring course so I could fully support Tristan with the family funeral business. I've been directing funerals ever since and I absolutely love my job!

What is your favourite thing about being a funeral director?

The favourite part of my job is meeting people from different walks of life and being firmly embedded within the community. It is incredibly rewarding to help a family organise a unique funeral for the person that has died, to see it all come together perfectly. We get one chance to organise the perfect final farewell and to spend time hearing their life story is an absolute privilege.

What is the hardest part of your job?

There are some days that are more upsetting than others. I'm only human and the challenge is trying to not take it all home with me everyday. To help with this, I ensure I focus on my own mental health. Self care is incredibly important for this, so regular long walks, spending time outdoors by the sea or reading a book all help.

Are there any challenges and stereotypes you have to overcome being a female funeral director?

Every one I have met has been incredibly supportive of me looking after them and the person that has died. They are usually pleasantly surprised to see I'm a woman and not just arranging the funeral, but conducting on the day too. I believe, as a woman, we have a greater level of emotional intelligence and empathy which I think helps.

What would surprise people about your job?

That I get fully involved in washing and dressing all of the people that have died. We have invested in some really nice essential oils, body wash, shampoo and conditioner since I joined. Having spent time training as a nurse when I was 21, I took away from that the importance of ensuring the deceased are cared for with dignity and respect.

I like to ask for pictures of the person that has died, so we can ensure that their hair and makeup is perfect. I would hate for someone not to recognise their loved one in our chapel of rest.