Menopause and Bereavement

World Menopause Day takes place on 18 October and this year's theme is mental health. The menopause is difficult enough, imagine having to grieve on top of that. That's why it is so important to us to be Menopause friendly.

Funeral Director Llandudno — Female run funeral director in Colwyn Bay, Conwy and Llandudno

Have you ever seen those facebook or instagram posts, from companies that use the #empoweringwomen tags, yet you get a sense that they aren't actually doing anything other than a tick box exercise? It's a big bug bear of ours, especially when we are female led and employ another woman full time that is trying to ensure the best possible environment for every woman that steps through our door.

One of the ways we are empowering the women within our company, is to be a Menopause Friendly Company. World Menopause Day takes place on 18 October, you can read more about it here. The perimenopause and menopause effects everyone, either directly or indirectly. It's important that we create an open and supportive culture around the menopause to be able to look after our colleagues and our clients. This way, if we meet women who have been bereaved and are going through the menopause, we are able to offer the best possible support that is appropriate.

What is the perimenopause and menopause?

The menopause is when the ovaries stop producing eggs and the
production of the hormones estrogen, progesterone and
testosterone fluctuates and then falls. When hormone levels drop, there will be a range of symptoms experienced and they will differ depending on the person.

The perimenopause can last for many years, and commonly affects women in their 40s. The menopause, medically, is defined as a point in time when there hasn't been a period for more than 12 consecutive months.

What are the symptoms of the perimenopause and menopause?

The symptoms of the perimenopause and menopause can be physical. These can include

headaches or migraines;
joint and muscle pain;
tinnitus;
palpitations;
dry skin;
hair loss;
night sweats;
trouble sleeping.

In addition there will also be psychological symptoms that can include, anxiety, brain fog, memory lapses, paranoia, intrusive thoughts, mental fatigue, and panic attacks.

How does grief affect us?

Grief describes the feelings you experience following the death of someone close to you. The emotions you experience will vary over time, and will depend on the relationship you had with the person that died, whether the death was expected and how they died.

The emotional symptoms of grief include shock, anger, guilt, loneliness and anxiety.

They physical symptoms can include:

nausea;
difficulty sleeping;
exhaustion;
poor concentration;
palpitations;
dizziness;
loss of appetite.

Grief and the menopause

As you can see, there are a range of symptoms of grief and the menopause that overlap. So it's easy to see how these can potentially exacerbate both situations. If you were already suffering from memory loss and brain fog during the menopause, imagine how difficult it would be if you added bereavement into the mix?? As a funeral director based in Conwy, we have lots of experience of meeting women who are menopausal age and have been bereaved. There is so little written about grief and the menopause, but given a large percentage of women, who will be suffering from the menopause are then likely to lose a parent or a partner, we think this issue needs more consideration.

How do you create a menopause confident company?

The perimenopause and menopause is to blame for the estimated 14m lost work days in the UK per year due to the debilitating symptoms that can arise. A lot of women won't even realise they are in perimenopause or menopause as the symptoms they experience will be put down to stress or the pressures of life!

At Tom Owen and Son funeral directors, we have implemented a menopause policy. This is to

help foster an environment in which colleagues can openly and comfortably instigate conversations, or engage in discussions about the menopause;
we want to ensure everyone understands what the menopause is and confidently have a good conversation about it, plus are clear on the policy and practices supported by Tom Owen and Son;
educate and inform managers and colleagues about the potential symptoms of the menopause and how they can support women whom we come into contact with;
ensure that women suffering menopausal symptoms feel confident to discuss it and ask for any support or reasonable adjustments to be successful in their role or during their time working with us;
a peer system is in place to provide support;
reduce absenteeism due to symptoms; and
assure our colleagues that we are a responsible employer who is committed to supporting them.

We will also work to explore making adjustments to the role or working environment with the aim of reducing the effect that the menopause is having on any of our colleagues.