How to deal with your year of firsts
The first year, after someone close to you dies, is often one of the most challenging. Each milestone – birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can bring a fresh wave of grief and pain. These ‘firsts’ are reminders of the void that has been left by their absence. Navigating these moments is crucial for healing and to help you find a new normal, remember, it's okay to grieve, and it's also okay to find moments of joy and peace. If you need support, don't hesitate to reach out to those around you or seek professional help. You're not alone. Here are our tips and practical advice to help you through your Year of Firsts!
Acknowledge your emotions
Give yourself permission to grieve. Understanding that it is ok to feel sad, angry or numb and that these emotions are a natural part of the grieving process.
Be honest with yourself. Recognise that these milestones will be difficult.
Plan ahead for your year of firsts following the death of someone close to you
Plan Ahead
Anticipate Triggers. If you identify dates such as a birthday or anniversary that may be particularly challenging beforehand, it will help.
You should then try to create a plan. You can decide in advance what you’d like to do on these dates, such as celebrate, memorialise or simply get through the day.
Find Support
Lean on Family or Friends. Share your feelings with those close to you, and let them know how they can support you during these difficult times.
Join a support group. Consider joining a bereavement support group where you can connect with others whom are experiencing similar losses.
Create new traditions in your year of firsts
Create Memories and Traditions
Establishing new traditions. Whether lighting a candle, visiting a special place or cooking their favourite meal, you may find establishing a new tradition with family or friends helpful.
Gather Mementos. Collecting photos, letters and other keepsakes will help to remind you of the person that has died. Spend time reminiscing and sharing stories with others, which will bring comfort.
Self care is very important in your year of firsts following the death of someone
Take Care of Yourself
Practice Self-Care. You should prioritise activities that nurture your physical and emotional wellbeing. Ensure you eat well, exercise (a short stroll along the prom helps) and ensure you get enough rest.
You should also be gentle with yourself. Healing takes time and it’s ok to have up and down days.
Seek professional help
Consider counselling. If you are struggling to cope then a bereavement counsellor may be able to provide support and coping strategies to help manage your grief.
Other resources. Online forums, books and workshops can provide additional support within the community. There are some specific organisations that are tailored to help.
