Dealing with grief during Religious Holidays

With the festive season upon us, it won't be a happy time for all. Facing your first Christmas or Hanukkah without someone you love can be very daunting.

If this is your first Christmas or Hannukah since your bereavement, it can be incredibly difficult to know what to do. There may be expectations to celebrate, join in usual traditions such as putting up your festive decorations such as a Christmas tree or your menorah, to send out cards, or join your family for dinner but perhaps you'd rather do none of these things. You may have no energy or inclination to 'pretend' you are looking forward to the festive holidays. Similarly, you may prefer to keep yourself busy and get involved as normal, to keep the same routines and family rituals. And that is ok. You have to do what works for you. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Ways to spend your first Christmas or Hanukkah following your bereavement:

1. Choose whether you spend time with people or alone. There is no limits to how often you do.
2. Visit somewhere that means something or connects you to the person that has died.
3. Share memories of the person that has died with those closest to you.
4. Seek additional support if you find that your grief is overwhelming. You can find bereavement support here.
5. Light a candle in their memory.
6. Volunteer at a food kitchen instead.
7. Take a long walk.
8. Perhaps consider spending time with another bereaved person who may be alone.
9. Look after yourself and maintain a routine where possible.
10. Take regular breaks, especially if films and tv shows are making you more sad.

Remember that you don't have to do anything at this time of year that you don't feel comfortable with. Your decision may not be understood by others, but you are the one that is grieving and you need to do it in your own way.