A Day in the Life of a Funeral Director

Ever wondered what it's like to be a funeral director? Today's blog shows a snap shot of a typical day for us at Tom Owen and Son Funeral Director. 

6.30am - Waking up

It’s just after 6.30am and the house is quiet and still. I’ve just woken up to make my first coffee of the day and let Louie the Labrador out before his breakfast. The phone rings and it’s a local nursing home based in Llandudno. A resident has died peacefully overnight and the family have asked for us to bring her into our care. I take some personal details and thank the nurse for her kindness and patience – you never quite get used to these conversations but you do learn to handle them gently, even before sunrise. We confirm that we will attend shortly.

7:30am – Bringing someone into our care

Tristan and I arrive at the nursing home, the early morning sun is filtering through the windows. It’s quiet. Respectful. We greet the staff, offer our condolences and gently start the process of bringing their resident into our care. There’s no rush, no clinical efficiency, just dignity. Always at the front of our minds is that she is someone’s Mum, Sister, friend. We bring her into our care at our funeral home, ensuring she is signed in and her belongings noted. We then call the family to update them, offer our condolences and a promise we will call again the next working day to give them some time to come to terms with their loss. 

9.00am – Team Meeting

We start every day with a Team meeting, updating them all on what has occurred over night. We discuss the funeral due to take place later that day, so everyone knows their responsibilities beforehand to ensure everything runs smoothly. 

11.00am – Meeting a Family

At our funeral home, we welcome a family we’ve had booked in to discuss arrangements for their dad, who died earlier in the week. We always give families space and time to take everything in before sitting down with us.

This part of my job always feels like a privilege – being trusted with someone’s final farewell. We sit with a cup of tea and I ask them to tell me more about him. I sit and listen. “He was a real joker” his daughter says, with a smile. They decide on a cremation, with a celebrant leading, and are thinking about song choices. They are thinking of his favourite, Bowie. His grandson wants to read a poem. We talk through everything, gently and never let them feel rushed.

1.00pm – Lunch on the go

I grab my sandwich out of my bag, get Louie’s lead and head out on to Mostyn Street for a walk and to clear my head. He provides a lot more comfort than he knows including to those people we stop and talk to on the way.

2.45pm – The Afternoon Funeral

We have a funeral at Colwyn Bay Crematorium at 2.45pm, so final preparations begin the hour before. Bearers start to arrive ready for their briefing and I change into my funeral dress, shine my shoes, apply my lipstick and adjust my headband. The bearers head out first with everything we’ll need; donations box, service booklets, the photo and easel. We get the hearse and limousine out of the garage, check they are gleaming and head out to the family home. 

At the crematorium, there is a good crowd gathered for the gentleman. The atmosphere is solemn but warm. The service runs without a hitch and as people leave they comment “It was exactly as he’d have wanted it” and that’s all we can ever hope for.

5.00pm – Winding Down

After returning to the funeral home, we update our records and get everything ready for tomorrow. It’s a quiet choreography, everyone knows their role and works together to provide the best possible service. At home, shoes off, dinner is on and my daughter is telling me about her day. There’s laundry to fold but I take a moment to sit and think about those we have helped today. Not just those who’ve died, but those left behind, trying to piece things together. That’s what our job really is - making grief feel a little less overwhelming. And I think: how lucky am I to do this? To meet people at their most vulnerable and be trusted to walk beside them, even just for a while.

11.00pm – Police Call

I’ve just turned off the lights and slipped into bed when the phone rings. It’s North Wales Police Control Room, asking for our assistance on behalf of the coroner. We dress quickly and quietly, and head out into the night to help a family in Conwy.